Coping with Christmas - Neurodivergence over the Holidays

The Christmas season often brings joy and celebration, but for many neurodivergent people, it can also mean facing overwhelming change and stress. Disruption of routines, increased social demands, and sensory overload pose unique festive challenges. In this post, I'll explore some practical strategies for neurodivergent people to help manage these difficulties during the holiday period.

Understanding the Challenges of Christmas

The holiday season often disrupts daily routines. For some, the excitement and spontaneity can be exciting. For others (including me!), this disruption can be an additional source of unpredictability and stress. Sensory overload is another common issue - bright lights (particularly flashing lights, or those blue lights which are inexplicably more popular every year), loud music, and crowded gatherings can create uncomfortable environments.

Social expectations during Christmas can also be demanding. Family gatherings, gift exchanges (being put on the spot to react the "right way"??), and festive activities may feel overwhelming or confusing. These challenges can lead to feelings of isolation or frustration if not handled sensitively.

Managing Sensory Overload

Sensory overload happens when the brain receives more input than it can process comfortably. During Christmas, this might come from:

• Flashing lights and decorations

• Loud music or crowded rooms

• Strong smells from food or candles

  
  

Practical Tips to Reduce Sensory Overload

• Create a quiet space: Designate a calm area where you can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. Depending on your circumstances, you might discuss this with family and friends ahead of time - you might be fortunate enough that they will be supportive of you needing to take some time out. But I appreciate this isn't always possible - it might be that you need to pre-prepare some socially acceptable reasons to retreat. Need a lie down because you're feeling woozy/have a headache? Need to step out to make a phone call? Work out what you'd feel comfortable with - it would be lovely to be fully honest and unmasked, but this isn't always possible or socially safe.
  

• Use sensory-friendly decorations: If you're hosting a neurodivergent friend or family member, consider what would work for them from a sensory perspective (whilst still being festive!) - the best approach is to involve them, ask them! You might choose softer lighting options such as fairy lights instead of bright LEDs. Try to avoid overly strong scents or noisy decorations. If you are the neurodivergent person being hosted, do you feel comfortable asking your host what you should expect, and advocating for some of your needs in this?
  

• Plan breaks: Schedule regular breaks during events to allow time to decompress and reset. Purposively schedule time to not do anything demanding. You don't have to say yes to every event or request. Again, as in the first point, consider what you would be comfortable doing and saying ahead of time, so you're not put on the spot when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Establishing and Maintaining Routines

For some neurodivergent people, routines provide structure and predictability, which can ease anxiety. Even during the holidays, maintaining some familiar routines can help us feel more secure - aside from Christmas and Boxing day, my private practice and other work generally remains the same - this isn't because I'm a workaholic, but because I know the structure helps me to stay grounded. Don't worry - I still make time for enjoying the festive season. Where changes have to be made, I try to plan these as far in advance as I can (and come up with possible contingency plans) so that I know what to expect.

How to Keep Routines During Christmas

• Prepare a visual schedule: Use pictures or written plans to outline daily activities, including holiday events. I have a colour coded Google calendar, which helps reduce uncertainty.
  

• Stick to regular mealtimes and sleep schedules: Try to keep these consistent even if other parts of the day change. If I'm not planning mealtimes or the day runs long due to get-togethers, I try to be realistic about the impact this has on my mental battery, and plan in recovery time in the days that follow.
  

• Include familiar activities: Balance holiday events with favourite hobbies or calming routines. For me, some knitting is not only seasonally appropriate, but it gives me something to focus on and do with my hands. I also volunteer for straightforward, repetitive chores (peeling potatoes, washing up) that not only give me something to contribute, but also often gives me some peaceful time away from the hubbub.
  

• Try to get outside: When it's cold and the days are short, it can be tempting to create a blanket fort and retreat from the world - and I do encourage some nesting and resting! But try to get outdoors in daylight if you can - the short daylight hours can play havoc with circadian rhythms, so trying to get some time every day in the outside world will make small but noticeable differences.
  

• Plan ahead & stock up: Shops, pharmacies, and all your local amenities will not be sticking to their routines - not only will opening hours be different over the holidays, but everything will be busier as people flock to the shops in a mild pre-festive panic. Make sure you have pre-ordered a little extra of any prescription medications you take, so that you're not caught short, and try to stock the cupboards with food and drink if you can, thinking tactically to avoid the busiest hours.

Creating a Supportive Environment

A supportive environment involves understanding, patience, and flexibility from family and friends. Small adjustments can make a big difference. A caveat: again, I appreciate that this might not be possible or safe for everyone, so your mileage may vary.

Ways to Build Support

• Educate loved ones: Share information about neurodivergence and specific needs to foster empathy. If you're not "out" as neurodivergent with people in your life, talk more generally about your experiences in the past - "I noticed last year when... I was wondering if this year I could try..." and frame this as how you want to make this a positive time for everyone (which includes you!)
  

• Set clear expectations: Let everyone know what to expect from gatherings and what you might need.
  

• Advocate for choice and control: Set yourself a cut-off time that feels manageable and realistic. If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, it is fine to say "I think I'm done for today - thanks for a great day".

Reflect & Revisit

Finally, after events, or at the end of the festive season as a whole, reflect of what worked (and what didn't). Make a note of what exhausted you and what helped. This will be invaluable for next time!

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Worried about coping with Christmas?

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